All or Nothing Mentality is Not Your Friend
There’s a really common roadblock among my clients when they’re first getting started with the “I want to feel better about food and myself and stop stressing so much,” thing:
ALL OR NOTHING MENTALITY
Imagine, if you will, that this mentality is a person who lives inside your brain and talks to you. Picture this person now. This person is wearing a shirt that says IT’S ALL OR NOTHING. The back of the shirt says TRY HARDER!!
When this mentality talks to you, it says, “You have to go all in or you’re a failure. You have to do a complete 180 or you’re not doing it right. You have to do it perfectly for at least 30 days, or you’re not going to get any of the benefits you so desperately want.”
It says, “It’s all or nothing, and if you only want to do it partway, you might as well not even try.”
It also says, “You’re not trying hard enough if you can’t do it 100%.”
And then, after a certain number of days or weeks when the 100% becomes unrealistic and exhausting and you stray from it, it says, “You suck. You obviously don’t want this bad enough, or you would’ve tried harder.”
And what happens now? Usually, for my clients, what happens is a drive-thru, or a freezer raid, or a guilt-ridden junk food frenzy in front of the TV...all ending in a tearful confession to this mentality that yes, it’s right, we definitely didn’t try hard enough, and we’ll start over again soon.
All or nothing mentality is not your friend.
All or nothing mentality is a bully. It uses fear and intimidation to spark change within you. And while fear can be an effective motivator temporarily, that specific kind of motivation fades out somewhat quickly. And then there you are, still scared but not motivated anymore. What a terrible way to feel.
All or nothing mentality keeps you stuck.
It keeps you stuck rocketing back and forth between 0% and 100%.
But feeling good about food and your body—feeling confident, empowered, energized, relaxed—that feeling lives somewhere in the middle. That feeling facilitates your ability to make your own adjustments as needed. Maybe one day you’re at 78%, the next day you’re at 32%, but you’re feeling good because you’re making your own decisions and taking care of yourself in the best way possible that day.
I know, the middle place is hard (believe me, I know). It’s scary because it’s unfamiliar and unregulated.
The middle place requires self-trust, which is a scarce resource among most of my clients because we’ve been taught that we cannot trust ourselves.
I’m here to teach you another way. I’m here to remind you that you can trust yourself. I’m here to help you stand up to all or nothing mentality when it comes around and bullies you, because I do trust you and I know that you’re trying hard enough.
Curious? Start here with my free 5-day training: How to Make 2021 Your Best Year Ever with Food and Your Body.
Hey! I’m Caroline—nutritionist, hiker, and author.
I help women stop stressing about food, build confidence, and have more fun. Let’s work together.